41. You never know what you have until it's gone.

A little girl walks along a craggy, rocky shore with her grandfather. She is hopping along beside him, humming and admiring the waves. She has admired this rock from afar, and finally she's able to get a closer look. From the front yard of her Nana and Papa's house, she sees the rock all the time. It's huge compared to her, and it's the perfect shape of a heart on it's side.
Her grandfather strides along the shore; he reminds her to be careful, and that the rocks are slippery. She insists that she'll be just fine.
The wind picks up and blows her thick, bronze-colored hair all around. The sky is blue, and the crashing waves are the backdrop to their little walk.
She looks up and realizes that she's much closer to the heart rock then she ever has been before. She jumps up and down with giddiness.
"Look at how close it is, Papa! Look how close!" She says excitedly, jumping up and down.
Papa laughs, and they continue on.
When they get there, she realizes that the rock is massive. It looks so small from the front yard! It's covered in endless layers of seaweed, and barnacles have made the rock their home.
"Wow!" She cries happily. Papa lifts her up effortlessly and plops her on top of the rock. She giggles and looks down; her little legs are impossibly far away from the ground. She's never felt this high up.
Papa smiles, "It's your heart rock, Holli."
Holli looks up and sees her Nana, standing far away on the front yard facing the shore. The yard is on top of a cliff. She's waving and leaning on her cane. Holli waves back, and looks across the bay from on top of her heart rock. It was a perfect day.

***
A girl walks along the shore, alone . It's the first time she's ever walked to the rock without her grandfather. She was afraid she'd get lost, but she was excited that her grandparents finally were letting her go alone.
She's growing into a teenager, and her feet are too large for her body. Her feet get caught on the rocks, and she stumbles forward towards her heart rock.
It was like pulling teeth to get Holli to spend a weekend at her grandparent's old house on the bay. When she was younger, she faithfully stayed there every other weekend. She looked forward to it all week long. Naturally, as she got older, she started making more friends. None of her friends had to go and spend two nights with their grandparents once every two weeks. She missed out on school dances and sleepovers because her mother had insisted that she stay with her Nana and Papa at least once a month.
Holli sighed and walked onto her rock. Today was a bleak day; the sky was gray and the water of the bay matched. She looked behind her as she walked and saw that her grandparents were sitting on that old white bench that faced the bay. They were watching her as she walked to the rock.
She waved slightly and continued walking. Did it count as a visit to the rock alone if she was being watched so closely?
Holli finally got to the rock and realized that it was smaller then the last time she saw it. Perhaps she was just bigger. It was still covered in seaweed and barnacles. It looked exactly the same.
She loved her grandparents and her rock and even this old bay, but sometimes she wondered why she had to visit so much. She'd rather be at a friend's house, or even at home with Cindy or Donny. But she was here, and she was bored. She was too old to visit anymore.

***
A young woman with a big camera walks along the shore alone. It's a beautiful August day, and the bay was sparkling a million diamond's worth of light. Her curly and thick hair danced around her face, and her liquid brown eyes kept hiding behind the view finder of her camera.
The shutter went off and off as she shot pictures of the old shore. The rocky cliffs, the black seaweed, the tidal pools that served as tiny communities to ocean creatures. She hopped all around and took her shoes off as she spread her toes in the clay and the sand. She smiled and laughed as she chased seagulls by herself.
This is the first time in years that she's visited this shore, and it astounds her how little it has changed. Her old brick collection was still located under the boulder by the stairs her Papa built. The same spots that used to have soft sand still had soft sand. And, of course, her precious heart rock hadn't moved.
Her grandparents had moved some years ago, once her grandfather got too old to manage the place. They sold the beautiful old home to a rich man who never used it; and when Holli peaked in the windows earlier, she realized it looked almost exactly the same. The brown butterfly wallpaper in the den, the old brown shag carpet, the lamp her grandmother bought at a yardsale that looked like a lighthouse was still sitting on an end table in the corner where the TV was. Her heart ached at what a terrible shame that was; the old house she loved so much to be sitting all alone.
She pranced along the shore, taking pictures as she did, until she found herself to the old heart rock.
It amazed her how familiar it was, and a rush of memories exploded her mind. She sat near it and thought for a while. She snapped a few pictures of it for her grandparents. She was reminded of how much she loved this old rock, and how much she loved this old house.
As she leaned on the rock and watched the waves go in and out, she was consumed by guilt. Why didn't she visit more once she got older? This rock was her old friend and she left it. She didn't want to visit; it wasn't 'cool' to visit. But  now, it's far too late to spend a weekend here.
She remembered waking up to the sound of the waves and the smell of her grandmother cooking a three-course breakfast. She remember her Papa telling her she looked like 'Gravel Gurty' with her wild morning hair. She remembered the front yard in which she'd play soccer with her Papa, and the table where she did arts and crafts with her Nana. She'd sit on the steps her Papa built and write in her journal until Nana called her in for dinner, which was usually macaroni and cheese.
A single tear produced itself, but Holli blinked it away. Those days were so simple and happy.
When she was a teenager, a weekend at this house with her grandparents sounded like a wasted two days. Now, as a young woman a little lost in this world, that creaky old house on this craggy old shore, sounded like the perfect place to be.