Week 1 theme part three

As An Adult


After four years of high school came the real world. Not the MTV show, the actual real world.
As an adult, I learned even more about disappointment. But I also learned even more about myself.
I learned to be self sufficient as it was my responsibility to take care of myself. I couldn't rely on anyone else.
As an adult, I kept the same friends that I had through high school. My family became more important to me; home became a treat and away became a burden.
I began missing the things I thought I'd never miss; I realized just how good the simplicity was.
But isn't that how all humans are? They either want things back or they want things that haven't happened yet. And I am no exception. I spend my days either day dreaming about tomorrow or thinking about yesterday.

After two weeks of moving all of my stuff out of the old farm house in Waite, I was fully moved into my new apartment in Orono. It was small and old, but at the time it was my first own place. My sister and I were excited for the time that was to come. 
I finished dropping off my stuff at the new apartment and said goodbye to my Mom and went to the movies with my sister and one of her friends. 
The whole time at the movie, I couldn't help but think about the years I had ahead of me. How exciting they all seemed at that very moment. The possibilities were endless! 
But once I got back to apartment that night after the movie, the reality of what was happening to my life hit me. 
When I left the apartment, my room was full of boxes and scattered items that I had yet to put away. 
When I walked into my new bedroom, I gasped. 
My mother had hung all of my posters and my bulletin board on my wall, she put away all of my clothes and set up all my furniture, and my bed was completely made. All of the boxes were gone and it looked like I had lived in this room for months already when it hadn't even been a day yet. 
On my bed was a note that said; 


Love you, 
Mom. 
xoxo. 


I sat on my bed with a lump in my throat. 


When I graduated high school, I thought that that happiness would last forever. But as soon as I was separated from those classmates I had had for a large part of my life, it felt like I was losing them as friends forever. For days after graduation I didn't eat and all I could do was sleep. My parents wanted to take me to the hospital. My father said he wanted his little girl back. But I thought I would never be okay.
As an adult, the warm memories impact me more heavily then the bad. Because those are the times I miss. Those are the times that are gone. But now, as an adult, you still catch glimpses of the very young girl I once was.
I still cry when I watch Disney classics; my favorite animal are still sea lions; I still eat all the olives at Christmas and Thanksgiving. I'm taller and I'm years older, but I still cover my face when I cry. I still cringe at roadkill. I still dance in the grocery store when no one's looking, and I still act silly from time to time. Our sleepovers are still full of sleepless nights, and the guest list remains almost the same.
But now I have a job, now I have bills, now I have a home to manage and a cat to feed. I have a car to maintain, and I have appointments I must keep up with.
And I've changed and grown so much.
But, I still write stories and poems for fun. But now, writing is something I'm aspiring to turn into apart of my career. I still want to write fantastical stories about mermaids, ghosts, wizards and warlocks. It's just now when I write those stories, my grammar has improved.